Changes can't be forced. You can't force someone to change eventhough it's for the best. HELP someone to change.
So I had this conversation with Ainaa. It was random and ended up pretty bad hah. But hopefully there's something good out of it.
Can i campur bahasa? Make it more sedap.
I'm from a boarding school. Budak asrama la kan. I realise my life is different from those yang tak ddk asrama. Duh. And after two years of far far away, I realise this and Alhamdullilah, bersyukur sangat. Why? Because I must do things fast and neatly. Okay not VERY neatly but I can't be too messy. It makes me feel uncomfortable. And stuffy. Dulu zaman asrama it was pretty stuffy eventhough there were only six of us. We had problems so we take hygiene seriously. So bila dah start berasrama balik, I can't see stuff too messy. I admit, my room is sooooo not tidy. But it's not a dumpster.
To be honest, I say so many things inside my head when I see my house so messy and the kitchen unorganised with the sink full and my periuks all dirty and uncleaned with the full garbage sampai semut dah beranak pinak. I have to throw the garbage from time to time. And wash my periuks because I don't want my periuks to worn out so fast. They ain't cheap. Same goes with my induction cooker. THAT'S why I'm always fussy about those stuff. I take care of my stuff and I hope others will too.
Well the convo with Ainaa lead to her wanting to change. Which I offended her. Which I am sorry. I was trying to help but my words weren't right.
Ustazah Ahiasah said something today, that I can relate very well. Sincerity. Eventhough we don't want to give or share or have anything to do with that person, just try and be sincere. InsyaAllah, berkatnya berkali ganda. I'm not saying I'm never sincere. But won't you lose sincerity if the same thing happens over and over again? You try so hard but some odd reason, they can't see through.
Sometimes I want to shout it out, WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND?! Everytime I feel like that, I just stop. I hope one day, just one day, they'll realise I'm trying to make them understand.
I'm not perfect. But please, understand how sincere I am, and at least try to appreciate me?
